When it comes to emotion I’m like a computer with an over active firewall. a warning pop up appears and and a brick wall is erect! so thinking about what has just happened to me, that was a big deal wasn’t it? It’s easy to block it all away but soon enough I’ve had to think about what this means for me. I could potentially have another side to my family.
Nothing will happen quickly and I will always be me, so I will be in London and every time I come ‘home’ it will be to see my dad and step mum, and at the same time I might make a trip to see my mum too. I wonder if anything will come of it though, because i feel nothing. Since coming back from travelling I had a sense of family inclusion at home, it took a long time to get that so it probably will never happen at my mum’s house. It doesn’t have to happen though, because i am quite happy just inching forward for now, testing the water so to speak.
I have no idea what I will talk about next week, it’s like having dinner with people you don’t know with an awkward air surrounding everyone. I only know my parents as dad and lisa, and they are the 2 whom I respect and ultimately behave slightly different around them, I can’t explain the feelings I had when sat with my mum and Ian, It’s not a lack of respect, as always im polite and courteous but its more a case of unfamiliarity. as you become more comfortable in new situations you start to test boundaries, something i did as a child with my parents so now i know where i stand and the things I can do and say around them. My mum and Ian have totally different boundaries and I have no fear around them, respect is the wrong word but if i upset them or do something they wouldn’t be proud of i feel no consequences, on the other hand I would never dare shame my family – that is my Dad and Step mum.
I am still deciphering my own head which had been sent into over drive but eventually it will become clear, I am still to tell my own parents who return from Turkey this weekend, they will be fine with it but I want them to know what is going on in my life. The 2 families will never overlap and i think it’s important it remains that way so it’s hard for me to flirt between the 2 right now especially as I don’t know the etiquette in these situations, for that fact i don’t think anyone does. If I stick to my morals, treat everyone with respect and do what I think is right I can’t go to far wrong, infact I have confidence that everyone around me will have confidence in my maturity to handle this situation properly.
Times could be changing, but i will always be me.

2 comments
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October 20, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Aunty E
Hi Jake, well Im gobsmacked, Ive not seen your mum for years. You prob have a lot of questions and thoughts about the past, but you ask. If you do treat everyone with respect then nobody can complain, however think of yourself and do what you think is right. I wish you luck and I hope your questions are answered, I have a few of them myself. Aunty E
November 16, 2008 at 3:35 am
eemusings
I know what you mean. My parents and I are almost like strangers. I always do look forward to seeing them, as it’s not often we do, and catching up, but really silence ends up dominating. I just don’t know what to say to them! Our lives are so different. I don’t really have much I feel I can share with them…