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A land mark day today as there are now under 200 days to go! but the saving has taken a hit with a few expenses this month, thank god for the PGCE grant! Not to worry though because the saving will get there. As far as living for now goes, it’s all good-today was my 3rd day in the gym, so i smiled, i saw a friend whom i’d not seen in a while (you know who you are) so i smiled, my uni work became a little more interesting and a little less daunting, so I smiled. I suppose its no coincidence that today I was told I was annoying, because I was always smiling. I think I can live with that
“Look at someone for who they are, not who they were”
Today I have got nothing to say, but just imagine a guy smiling and for reasons you would never believe. Not so quietly going about his business. Smiling. Happy again.
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9:09pm Monday, Feb 26 | DeleteThis note is imported. View original post
I think its happening, I can’t stop it and I shouldnt. Live for now. Won’t you?
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12:10am Sunday, Feb 25 | DeleteThis note is imported. View original post
Do you not find it funny that a conversation can go in a million directions based on just one word, yes, no or sometimes not even a word-a smile or raising of the eyebrow perhaps. How many conversations have you walked away from smiling so much because one or two of these words fell into place almost every sentence. How much can you learn about a new person in one hour? how much can you learn about yourself in one hour? As previous posts go I have realised that things can change in an instance, so does that mean life altering moments can be based on a smile? or even a simple yes or no answer with the people we meet in the blink of an eye?
Today I learned something about myself, and something about somebody else who I have never spoken to before, but really I should have. That’s my fault, however like I said today I learned something about myself.
We spend our lives wishing time away. I can’t wait for travelling I really can’t but why am I wishing my life away? Why am I constantly saying, “I cant wait for”…We also spend our lives looking at the past. Yes there were some great times, yes there were some hard times, but why dwell? I shouldn’t wait all my life on a street of broken dreams. Instead of crucifying oursleves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow, embrace this
“It’s not what if, it’s what now.”
“Do you ever wonder how long it takes to change your life?
What measure of time is enough to be life altering,
5 years like school?
1 year?
An 8 week break?
Can your life change in a month? A week? or a single day?
We are always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead.
But when your youg one hour can change every thing.”
This was dialogue from the opening scene of One Tree Hill – Season 4 Episode 13 (Pictures of You). I really wish there was a way I could show this episode on here. Above is the website anyway and if you happen to find yourself in the US you can watch it online, otherwise you should download it.
It’s actually quite annoying that there isnt a summary worth reading anywhere. Basically a group of teenagers are given an assignment based on overcoming their prejudices. Showing how we shouldnt be so judgmental of people despite what anyone may tell us. There is a lot more going on inside a person than there is on the surface. It would be such a great episode to show to school kids but there is a lot that many adults can take from this too!
Does Everyone have things on their mind they wish they’d just do? For me its more than one thing.
“Sometimes the hardest thing to do is also the right thing to do”
Edit: 1) The easy hard thing complete, now for number 2
How unmotivated can I become? It’s half term, I live in London and I have lots of free time and what do I choose to do, sit on the internet or sleep. How boring. I havn’t even been to Sainsburys and as a result I have nothing in for dinner, or tea which ever. On the plus side I am supposed to be playing badminton tonight with the flatmates but lets see if that actually comes of anything, alternatively i could go to sleep?
One good thing has come of my unmotivation, i have rediscovered Prison Break, I thought i couldnt download them anymore but as if like magic they have reappeared, loving it now about to watch 3 episodes back to back.
So now in all seriousness I need to get of my lazy backside and do something, something new. Something new, fun and incredibly cheap. God knows what that could be in London for some reason all the free attractions dont have an appeal, slap a £10 entry fee on there and I imagine it will become the most visited place ever! Some how though I think I will still bottle it in favour of sleep and playing around trying to learning some crazy web programming language!
“Hope is for people not already living in grace.
First find your girl, then find your grace”
I was doing nothing today. Absolutely nothing other than learning a few more things about web design, when again I should be writing an essay. Then I was called into work and on the way I saw this on the bus…
“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in”
I like little proverbs like this and I’m thinking upto now this is my favourite. It also adds meaning to my so far uninspiring PGCE.
What else have I done today? I’m about to download a few new songs I think, I want “How to save a life by The Fray” It’s a downside of not listening to the radio that you dont hear whats new, I’m always on the look out for something new otherwise I would end up like my parents listening to what was new in 1970, and we cant have that now can we?!
Have you ever looked back and thought, how did I get here? have you ever looked back and thought, what if? A bit like Sliding doors. It’s Half term this week and I should really be catching up with those tedious tasks that the universities call important, the essays that are neither useful now nor will they be in the next 10 years. So instead of working I find myself just thinking, reminissing-remembering things that seam like yesterday but actually are 3 years ago. How did I get to Loughborough, and where the hell did those 3 years go, from that first day meeting the lads to the last day on graduation-so much changed.
I like the way things changed, we all matured. I was having a conversation with one of those lads just last week, Dave, it was great. A reunion in loughborough. Yes we talked about old times, and yes we laughed a lot, but more seriously we realised how much we had both changed from day 1. It is so interesting to look back and think this is who I was then, just 18 and this is who I am now, just 21. How wierd it feels to think had I not gone to uni I would not be me. 3 years is hardly a long time, I work with people in ASDA that have been there as long as I have been alive, but 3 years was long enough to have an effect on me and it is long enough to think wow, where did it go?!
The people you meet is another one of those defining moments, S block-my home for 9 months. Where would I be now had I not moved next door to Dudley (Ian Clews, just lives in Dudley that’s all), well the answer to that is probably repeating a year with all the help he gave me. Just 2 names on piece of paper 3 and half years ago, could you believe we did the same course and now we are both aspiring to be teachers! Is this down to chance or has he some inadverse effect on me?
How about the people you meet that you know have changed you. I think we all know someone in particular but for me one of the most graphic depictions of this and something I certainly am not proud of are my relentless homophobic comments in front of guy that later turned out to be gay. This is just one way in which I know I have changed and become ever more accepting of others’ beliefs and an ever increasing understanding of different faiths and cultures. How better to top this than with a year travelling around the world, hoping that I may meet people that will change my life again and learn things that I never knew existed.
To talk about the people we meet and how they change our lives, who would ever have thought that I would move to London, ever? not I thats for sure. OK so that was down to meeting my girlfriend while at uni, and what an error in judgement it was to move down here for her but how greatful I am for this oppurtunity. I spent almost a month in summer deliberating over dropping out of uni to move back to Wigan and with no disrespect meant to the place I am so glad i didn’t. Without London means I would never have worked in Wimbledon and to think of the people I met there, not least Sarah! Infact the majority of people I know in London at the moment I met while working at Camp Beaumont. I so very nearly gave up on this, living in horrible conditions for £100 per week for which it took weeks on gumtree to find and numerous trips into london.
How the time has flown by so quickly, it’s been 9 months since I left uni and 6 since leaving CB and that must have been the most challenging in my life, emotionally and physically. The sudden shock of graduation and uncertainty of love coupled with apprehension of the unknown threw me into a downward spiral. Feelings that I can barely describe and would wish upon nobody. It is something I am only just coming to terms with right now. I certainly am greatful for the oppurtunities that have been thrown my way though and it will only make me appreciate my year out more.
With the 2007 came a fresh start, my rtw trip now in the same calender year seamed ever nearer. This along with solid plans and booked tickets gave me a sense of hope and reignited my excitement. How did I get here? The answer becomes more obvious the more I think about it, it was the people are round me that brought me here. Everyone I have ever met and everyone I have ever known, truly known, it was you that brought me here and it is you that is guiding me through. My only hope is that I can continue to meet others like you.
There is so much more that I could have wrote, the bits I missed out are what makes my life personal, the joy and sadness of so many memories, but sometimes its good to share and sometimes its good to reflect on what is and what has been. If you got so far in reading all of this post then i applaud your endeaver, it can’t have been the most well written piece nor the most interesting but for you I include a story line, photos from the day I started university, just 1 month after turning 18 to today-a totally different person who has not changed a bit.
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